No love from Saudi this year

I was kind of shocked to learn that Valentine’s Day has been banned on 90% of the land mass of the peninsula on which I reside. Apparently, all symbols of the holiday are banned, punishable by arrest.

Surely this is a gesture of defiance against the western commercialization of sexuality, which seems pretty clear on an abstract level but I find it difficult to articulate exactly what they object to on a tangible level. Is it the sale of chocolate? I think that is generally allowed in Saudi. Ditto the sale of sentimental greeting cards. And they can’t possibly be objecting to the principle of buying gifts for one’s wife/wives (what a revolt there would be if GCC women weren’t having diamonds, mahnolos, and solid gold bricks lavished on them). So is it the imagery of fleshy cupids? Is it the possibility of flirting via candy hearts between 2 unmarried, unrelated people? Is it the vestigial prefix “Saint”?

I’m hoping it’s one of the above. Otherwise my only conclusion is that the same town leaders who banned dancing and rock music in Footloose moved to Riyadh and joined forces with the Grinch to steal Valentine’s Day. Boo.

And on a more serious note, what does this mean to ban symbols of something?? Is this not a terrible can of legal worms to open? It's easy enough to say "red roses = valentine's day, so no red roses allowed" but doesn't this pave the way for next year's rule to be "anything red is a symbol of a red rose, so no red allowed" or "you're wearing a pink shirt which means you must be thinking about valentine's day, so i will arrest you" or "you're considered a social dissident so i will find something in your house that symbolically refers to a heart, a piece of chocolate, a greeting card, the color red, or the color pink, so i will arrest you." ?? Slippery slope...