Thursday, January 25, 2007

Better at science than playing with others

3 recent BBC news articles indicate that the US military is astoundingly smart. Really.

No, really! Look, this stuff is amazing:

US military unveils heat-ray gun
The US military has given the first public display of what it says is a revolutionary heat-ray weapon to repel enemies or disperse hostile crowds which projects an invisible high energy beam that produces a sudden burning feeling, but is said to be harmless.
(http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6297149.stm)

US military looks to 'black ice'
The US military is developing a novel weapon - artificial black ice - for use in arid environments. It would cause enemy vehicles and soldiers to lose footing, whilst a spray-on "reversal agent" could be incorporated into boots and tyres to prevent friendly forces sliding around.
(http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/6295567.stm)


US 'plans stealth shark spies'
Pentagon scientists are planning to turn sharks into "stealth spies" capable of tracking vessels undetected. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4767428.stm)


So that whole bully persona is just a front to disguise the fact that we are actually lovable, EVIL GENIUSES!
muahaha MUAAAHAHAHA MUAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!

Friday, January 19, 2007

A clarinetist to watch out for

Bet you thought I was being ironic with that title.

But no, just as there are lady accordianists whom I respect and admire, there is a clarinetist that you MUST watch out for, if you are interested in gypsies, Joy, or clarinets. His name is Ismail Lumanovski. He is a 22-yr-old Julliard student with devilishly fast fingers, and he fronts the New York Gypsy All-Stars, which gave the best live concert I’ve ever seen last Saturday. I was screaming along to songs in languages I don’t even know.



No recorded albums yet, but I’m waiting. With my breath held. (Hurry up, Ismail...)

Opera for the masses?

In Manhattan last week I was lucky enough to catch a global premiere… the first-ever live simulcast of a Met opera into movie theaters around the world. I think this is a fab idea. An opera ticket for $18…and you can wear a hoodie and jeans… and munch popcorn and slurp a diet coke!

I was especially excited about the opera itself, The First Emperor, by Tan Dun (composer of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, which I adore for its exotic epic sentimentality and magic twinkly treetop theatrics). Unfortunately, I think the opera was only a partial success. Costumes were glorious, the set and lighting were grand, and the purely instrumental musical interludes were by turns majestic and spectacularly eerie (including some handheld instrument that looked like a bottomless, haunted birdcage turned an upside-down and played with a bow). Another highlight was the chinese acrobatics and the way the actors imported from the Peking Opera would sometimes contort into ludicrous 'praying mantis’ positions to emphasize a sentence. Oooh, and my other favorite thing was watching the orchestra grapple with ancient Chinese grunting – there was one shot of a middle-aged musician in pearls and a prim black sweater chanting along to the chorus’ “HAAA!!… HOO!!… HAASHY!!” which is what I imagine one would say whilst stomping, glowering, and preparing to decapitate one’s mortal enemy. That was worth the price of admission alone.

On the downside, the production completely failed to engage me on an emotional level. For one thing, the lyrics were in English – a fatal flaw as far as I’m concerned. As a novice opera-goer, I find the art form to be awkward enough with those stiff stage movements and warbly vocal abstractions. It’s even harder to swallow when you know that they've boomed out two dozen syllables to say “you are the princess.” Even worse is the story itself. It’s the story about a man who unites a country by killing everyone who didn’t want to be united. How you can ruin the excitement of that is really beyond me.

Still, kudos to Tan Dun for putting some Chinesiness into opera. And kudos to the Met for being brave enough to challenge the elitism of the medium and giving us cinema-goers a treat. I hope they make it a regular program…

Wednesday, January 17, 2007